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This scripture has always confused me a bit. I'm not a scripture expert by far. I take it as this: we are supposed to pray for wherever we call home. Most of my prayers are often people-specific or situational but rarely do I remember to pray for the city I love.
I'm heading off to do a few shoots today, in beautiful Minneapolis, and hosting a proper girl's night come 7pm. I hope you have a lovely weekend and take the time to love and pray for the place you call home.
There's a difference between being an adult and a good adult.
I'd consider college commencement my birth into adulthood, but last week marked my initiation into becoming the good adult woman I'm supposed to be.
I met with my very own neighborhood banker! We sat down for an hour and talked all about my financial goals. He was incredibly helpful and friendly. We set up a new savings account, erased a few others I never used and I left with the clearest financial peace of mind ever. There is nothing like that peace of mind.
Then I came right home and paid the last credit card bill. That's right, my cards are paid off :)
For about a year now my prayers have implored God to help me make choices that will enable me to become the woman He wants me to be.
It seems so silly, but sitting down with that banker was one of the final beginnings I needed to start.
I know how to clean and keep an apartment, my dedication is paying off at work, I'm healthier than I've ever been and my relationships with friends and family are where I want them to be. Now, my financial life is how I've always pictured it: focused, clear and ready for the next step in life.
I'm just really happy about it. In sum, I feel like I can do anything.
When I was a teen and for my first few years of college I often judged people by the way they looked. I knew it wasn't right, but it's hard not to do. Look at the culture we all live in. Then when I found myself feeling sad, worried or angry I'd baffle at how strangers still managed to complement my hair or say I looked happy. What's on the outside isn't always indicative of what's really there, under the surface. But-- our insides affect our outsides as well.
Living a healthy life and making wise choices makes anyone beautiful. It may not be what Hollywood considers "gorgeous," but you know what I mean, that look of peace in a person's eyes and their own happy glow. I believe it's often there in cute old ladies at the grocery store. I think I have found a good balance of caring for my appearance and for my heart and mind, too. They all gotta work together to make the best me. Have a beauty-filled weekend my friends.
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who is Jeffrey R. Holland and why am I quoting him? Find out here.
This is long friends, I'm sorry. But I promise that it's good :)
One of my goals for this year was to write openly and honestly about my faith journey. I was afraid to for several reasons. I worried people might judge me. I worried that if I had a change of heart I’d appear to be a crazy person who can’t make a decision. I felt like so many of the spiritual experiences I’d had over the past months were so sacred to me that I didn’t want to air them. I have said so many things, many online, and I knew having a change of heart on a public forum might get sticky. I worried I wouldn’t be able to explain myself. Then, while in Texas I spoke to Jen and she encouraged me to blog about my experience. She reminded me that many people read my blog because of my faith story and that it would be a good thing to do. I felt courageous and so here we go.
In September of 2008 after I stopped attending the LDS church I went on with my life and never looked back. Things were fine for the most part and life was good. I had a hard first year out of college, which I think is pretty normal and found a good spiritual home back in the Catholic faith. If you’d asked me one thing I regretted I would tell you joining the Mormon faith, if you’d asked me one place you’d never find me ever again I would answer confidently, the Mormon church.
I was very angry for a long period of time. I commented on blogs, wrote entries, emailed way too much, commented on newspaper articles and so on and so on about my experiences. I was completely embittered and while my reactions weren’t appropriate I still believe after what I experienced mostly in Utah entitled me to being upset. The funny thing about anger though is that it is always a secondary emotion. Anger for me is usually the result of sadness. Instead of allowing myself to just be sad, which I feel is perfectly fine to be, I got angry and lashed out at perfectly nice people who genuinely loved their faith. I’ve made peace with many of the people who I got personal with and I’m grateful for the ability to apologize, forgive and move forward. I’m glad for the people who had the guts to call me out and remind me when I was crossing a line. At the same time I learned to forgive the people who had wronged me.
About a year ago I was speaking on the phone to my friend Lindsay. Until then we basically edited faith out of our conversations because we just had to agree to disagree. Lindsay is a strong, LDS woman who served a mission. One afternoon while talking I said to her, “you know, I’m not happy about it, but I’m not angry anymore.” I don’t know exactly what happened, but over time I stopped being angry and I just let it be. I made a sort of peace with it and moved on. It was nothing short of a miracle.
In April I had a very spiritual dream. I’m not going into details but it woke me suddenly and surprised me. The first thing I do when I wake up is check my phone. A friend who I wasn’t particularly close to but was still facebook friends with had e-mailed me an invitation to attend a LDS Easter concert. Still shaken from the dream but letting everything just be I accepted the invitation. The concert was lovely. I hadn’t stepped foot in a Church building in three years. People who I knew didn’t glare or whisper, they came up with smiles on their faces and asked me genuine questions and complemented me.
Christmas was in one word: wonderful. I had a lovely day spent with family and good food. We started the celebrating with evening mass on Christmas Eve at the Basilica. I was so happy that Becky and her family came as well. A poor elderly lady a pew ahead of us passed out and fell down, resulting in a fire department rescue which added a little bit more drama to the usual Catholic service! I knew it would be a holiday to remember after that!
For dinner we went all out and dined at Manny's. I guess I believe the holidays are not a time to mess around and I'm going to do decadence whenever I can because life is short. I about died from the richness of the food... and looking at the check!
Christmas morning I slept in (so wonderful) and got ready slowly, being sure to wear my new pink owl pajamas which I adore. Once my mom and step-dad returned from mass (they sing in the choir at their parish so they sing during a few services) we exchanged gifts. First up, stocking, or boots*:
I gave out traditional clementines, nut goodies for a certain sweet tooth, magazine subscriptions and a gift card to yogurt lab :) I love my cashmere hat and huge bag of sour patch kids. I carefully inspected the bag for dust- I love sour patch kid dust: yummy!
Perhaps my biggest surprise came when I opened a sequence of pretty boxes inside of each other to discover the 28mm 1.8 lens! It is incredible and takes stunning images (see below.) I am so grateful and excited and slightly up in arms trying to figure it out.
I loved shopping for family this year and tried to give thoughtful gifts, which I think were all well received and loved. Dad cannot stop raving about his new teapot... whatever works :) Special thanks to the Walker Art Museum gift shop for making holiday shopping for mom easy! I truly hope I have enough open shelving because my jadeite collection just grew by half!
For dinner we opted for a series of appetizers and dad cooked to impress, rock cornish game hens! I contributed caprese skewers, fondue and cucumber sandwiches.
After dinner we did what you probably did, too: napped. I managed to convince the family that We Bought a Zoo would be a smart choice for the traditional Christmas movie out. Then we lost the car in the parking lot and I got crabby. Oh well, Christmas must go on! I hope your holiday was merry + bright, full of surprises and a reminder of the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ.
*Oh yes, I got sick of dreaming about them, so I finally ordered a pair of shiny red hunters. Yaaaa! Extra yaaaa to my friend Kristy who ordered herself something fabulous and snappy, too. Girls gotta give and get :)
I believe Christmas is more than perfectly wrapped gifts, gorgeous ornaments and sugary foods. I know it's about the celebration of the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ.
Source: images.google.com via Katie on Pinterest
I believe God made this world. It truly is a miracle, how could something so perfect be an accident? Our earth is the precise distance from the sun, not too far or too close. I know God molded and created everything we have.
I believe God's only begotten son, Jesus was born to a virgin in a cave in Bethlehem many, many years ago. I know his childhood was blessed and he was the only perfect person to ever walk this planet. I know he suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane and experienced every pain, trial and temptation known to the world. I know he was crucified, died and rose again.
I believe we need Jesus Christ to make up for our own shortcomings. I know he is the Savior of the world and loves everyone. I know through his sacrifice that our lives can be made right through his atonement for the world's sins, and mine.
I believe the Christmas season is special. I know it's hard because it's expensive, stressful and can seem like it magnifies what we don't have and want dearly. I also know if we allow it to, the Christmas spirit can heal us and remind us of the true meaning of the holiday.
I believe the glass is half full. I know life is hard. I don't have everything I want. I still know that God has blessed me more than I deserve. I know Jesus died for my sins and shortcomings. I know he loves me, and you, too. Merry Christmas readers!
This week was incredibly difficult for me. I still haven't really dealt with my breakup with K. The fall was a huge distraction: moving, home decor projects, friends visiting, visiting friends... It all started Thanksgiving and it was a challenging few days. Life is very hard sometimes. In the midst/because of all of this my faith is really struggling. I have a hard time believing that God is not punishing me or that my future isn't grim.
I think God can speak to us in dreams, maybe that's a little woo woo for you.
After having a better Wednesday I went to bed very late after our first substantial snowfall, and I had a dream:
I was back in dad's house from high school (which was big and beautiful.) I was decorating a six or seven foot artificial Christmas tree in the living room. I carefully took each glass, heirloom ornament out of the box and found a spot for it. It was the middle of the afternoon and sun washed in from the wall of windows to my right.
For whatever reason I decided to walk into the formal living room, what we called the music room becasue there was a piano there. As soon as I was in the room I noticed a gigantic and I mean gigantic, like 18 foot tree covered with the most beautiful Christmas damask fabric, like it was supposed to be hidden. I gasped. It was so stunning and festive. It took my breath away.
I went back into the kitchen and dad stood there.
"Dad, what is that? Did you get a second tree?" (in real life we used to do two trees, but never one as big as in my dream.)
"Yes. I was at Bachmann's paying for a wreath and they wheeled this tree by me. Apparantly it's a special kind of pine that doesn't get dry or age, even after it's been cut. Someone special ordered it, then didn't want it, so they sold it to me for an incredible price."
Then he threw the fabric off and I stared at the most gorgeous Christmas tree, one that would rival New York's Rokefeller Center.
Life is going to be fine. I just have to be willing to put down my own stuff and walk into a different room, maybe beautiful surprises will astonish me.
And, I love this dream because it is exactly something my father would do. As soon as I woke up I called him and he started cracking up.
I like hosting Thanksgiving for a few reasons: I have control, my kitchen won't be a mess, it's just fun to host and I get to decorate. Those who enjoy decorating for the holidays sometimes look into design classes from online colleges.
I went easy and kitschy this year: pompoms on thread and a simple garland. I really like it. I might leave the pompoms up until after Christmas, they just scream "festive" to me. Can I admit that I put these up a week ago? Yes. I was excited.
Do you do Thanksgiving decor or just skip it because of Christmas?
A few months back I discovered a great blog, Natural Mama. I love Genevieve's natural living advice and fun vlogs. She's committed to living a green, clean life and I really admire that. Another thing I noticed was that she had chosen a "living verse" from the Bible to live by.
I loved this idea. And I decided to run with it.
I think we are all needing different things from God at different times. Am I right? One of the things that I am almost daily praying about is managing my life, time, work and play. Time management is especially tricky for me because I work from home and my schedule varies greatly from few photo shoots at the beginning of the month to several at the end. It's different and I love it, but it's also a challenge because it's different and this is also my first real adult job (so I kinda don't know what the hell I'm doing.)
Like most people I forget that I can ask God for help in all aspects of my life. From the big wishes or concerns to the tiny things that seem unimportant. It's like having the ultimate resource and not using it!
After moving into my new apartment I began praying and thinking about finding a living verse. Maybe not for the rest of my life, but for this specific season of my life.
Then, like a lot of things, I kind of forgot about it.
It's a good thing God never forgets our prayers though because at the beginning of the month I found myself paging through Proverbs. Usually when I decide to scripture study I'll either look up a topic that I'm concerned about or else let the Holy Spirit guide me in finding something God needs me to hear/read at that moment.
Here's what I found and it jumped off the page at me:
"She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness" Proverbs 31: 27
A little background: this chapter is all about righteous womanhood and what a woman of God is.
Well, we all know I'm not perfect, and neither are you, but I love this chapter because it specifically reminds me of what I should be aspiring to. There's obviously the world's idea of a good woman and there's God's. I am surrounded constantly by the world's standards and sometimes confuse them or assume that's it becuase it's so obvious. This chapter reminds me otherwise.
Specifically this verse stuck with me because it talks about two things I am working on doing: managing my life and managing my time.
I felt so inspired and excited. Here's a small excerpt from what I wrote in my journal that afternoon:
"I love what this verse says and means. I also love what it doesn't say. It doesn't say a woman of God always has a gorgeous home or even blogs her talents. It simply says she watches over all (cleaning, decor, finances, food, saftey etc...) and isn't wasting her precious time."
A few days later I found myself at LeAnn Chin (my favorite restaurant, it's crazy, I know. I love it. Makes me want to scream with happiness.) I opened my fortune and it read:
Domestic conditions require your attention.
So clearly that blew my mind. I've decided to add a section to my blog titled Proverbs 31:27 where I'll talk and share more about how I'm trying to live up to this verse.
If you're a person of faith I encourage you to find a living verse and see what good it can do in your life if you haven't already.
At the end of the day Jesus Christ died for our sins on the cross so that we can progress and become what our Father desires of us! They seriously do not call it "the good news" for nothing :)
Things I understand:
Faith and how it binds us.
The Minnesota worth ethic.
Why being in water feels so good.
The power of a smile.
Romantic prairie style.
What a miracle spring is (at least here!)
Women's intuition.
Things I cannot understand:
Mothers who neglect their young: emotionally, physically and spiritually.
Grudges and a general lack of forgiveness in the world.
Violence towards vulnerable populations.
This damn job market and seeing hardworking people who deserve employment struggling to find it.
Laziness and a sense of entitlement.
The miracle is: I don't have to understand it all. That's what Heaven is for. I can sit next to God and we can have a long talk. Suddenly I'll see everything clearly and I'll feel stupid. Then I'll laugh about it.
