Creole Wisdom

I dream of men

Lately, I've been dreaming about some of the men I've dated. I call them nightmares, but they are mostly kind of funny.

Dream one:

One particular gentleman and I were on a beach somewhere tropical and warm. I was amazed by his gorgeous blue eyes, which were more cerulean in the dream than in real life. I said, "wow, look at your eyes." He just smiled.

Later he presented me with a cheap collection of jewelry. I was so crestfallen. I'm talking the sets of jewelery you pick up at Claire's, really bad. He'd left the price tag on, it had originally been $15 marked down to $3. Wonderful.

Then- he said to me, "you're going to have to sell some of your stuff so I can buy you an engagement ring. Like your dining room table." I felt so sad. "Not my dining room table! I found that and painted the legs green. I love that table."

Dream two:

I started finding notes all over my apartment. In the strangest places: the kitchen counter, in door hinges and tapped on the bathroom mirror.

They were crazy, over-the-top love notes. I was mad as hell.

I figured out that this ex-boyfriend was sneaking into my apartment and living in the walls. At night he'd slip out, find my notepad, write a note and slip back into the walls.

Dream three:

A friend of mine from high school and I were photo shooting. We stopped by a restaurant in the middle of the day. It was mostly empty except for a few people.

I noticed my dinner date mishap sitting in a booth with an older, pregnant woman. Somehow it became clear that this was his illegitimate child. I was so disappointed in him!

My friend and I approached him and she began taking photos of them. I left and came back when they were done. I asked my friend why they were so dressed up, despite not knowing we would walk in and take photos. She confided in me that he'd admitted they were eloping that afternoon.

I ran back to him and tried to convince him not to do that. "Trust me, just marrying her because she's pregnant is not a good idea. I've seen it end poorly for people!" He was in a daze and didn't listen.

If you are smart I bet you can guess who is who in dreams one and two :)

Should cost more than a dining room table, just sayin'!

What do you dream about?

my sentiments exactly.

A dear friend of mine just went through a very hard break up. I hate those, there is nothing worse. The miracle is, and as cheesy as this sounds, time and faith can pretty much heal anything.

Anyway, in between serious talks and a few tears she told me: I've decided I'm going to do all the things I wanted to do but always said I'd wait for marriage: like get a kitchen aid mixer. I'm going to just buy one on black Friday.

Yes! Can I get an amen?

I really hope there aren't other fellow single girls out there waiting to do or buy fun things until they get married. That is lame and kind of trifling.

Plus, folks have told me, babies and husbands are expensive.

A gold ring and a piece of paper shouldn't stop you from baking a double batch of brownies.

On that note I think I'm going to save up for some Frye boots :)

dinner date mishap

I am laughing as I'm writing this.

Last week a guy that I met at a work event told me he wanted to surprise me and make me dinner. We had been on two dates so I thought this was a nice idea.

I admit I was curious to see what a 24 year old (let's be real, any age) man could come up with. I had low expectations and thought I better eat healthy all day and work out for longer than usual because his meal probably won't be healthy.

He told me he'd be over by 630pm. I noticed him walking up the sidewalk at 645pm. Mmmm, YOU ARE LATE!

Then he walks into the door, flustered and says:

"do you have chicken, spaghetti and vermouth?" I look at him like he is crazy, obviously no, it was your job to buy the ingredients for this elaborate meal you wanted to make me.

"no, I don't"

"Well, I think I left my other grocery bag at the store. I can't find it!" I literally start laughing. We have been on this "date" for 5 minutes and already he's messed up twice.

So, in the car we go back to the store to buy the missing ingredients. I didn't want to go to the store, it was cold and icy. I should of sent him there by himself, but that would of been mean and I already laughed at him to his face.

We seemed to be right on track after our unexpected trip. Back into the kitchen and aprons are on... except... "your apron is on inside out" I politely tell him. HAHA! Of course I laughed out loud again.

Thankfully dinner was actually really delicious! We used his sister's recipe and he called her once to verify the process. Bless his 24 year old heart.

Then he tells me I make him nervous. Was it the laughing at him that did it?

You have to keep them on their toes!

47

Somehow I became acquainted with the police man who directs traffic at church.

Don't even ask.

Oh, you want to know? Okay:

I was minding my own business walking around downtown trying to locate food trucks to photograph for work and feeling frustrated.

This cop stops me, "do you go to the Basilica?"

"Yes."

And then I realize he's the cop that directs everyone. The one I wave at because I always feel very I-love-my-city and I-feel-like-being-nice after church.

I should know by now that men often mistake friendly women for flirty women. Some folks were just feeling Christ-like, but I digress...

So we exchange cards because, well, I don't really know why, but I should of known better. My cell phone is on my card. You know where this is going, right?

Then he says, "well, let me take you to dinner."

"Um, I don't know."

"Coffee then?"

"I'll think about it." (I love being a pain sometimes :)

I guess I kind of wanted his card so that if God forbid I'm ever in some sort of trouble (ya right) I could whip out his card? Not sure.

Anyway, he calls me. I screen the call. He leaves a voice message. Then he starts texting me.

I had to find out his age, right? It's probably the second or third question I ask all interested parties.

I get a response: "why does it matter?"

Nope, we're not playing that game. "Because it does," I write back.

47.

Wha!?! What? I cannot believe this. I mean I don't hate on May-December relationships but I had no idea he was 47.

It rings true: black don't crack.

I better look early thirties when I am almost fifty.

from bad to worse

What is wrong with some men these days? I mean, I should know by now, there are some fools out there.

Last Sunday two particularly shameful things occurred in the world of men-trying-to-approach-women.

Story one: It was a beautiful, sunny Sunday afternoon and I thought I'd be able to get some nice photos down by Lake Calhoun. Just walking along the beach, snapping photos, minding my own business.

A black car pulls up and turns around, the windows are down and I notice two men looking at me. The one asks, "miss, can I ask you a question?" Now, I'm assuming he's lost... and I hate to admit this, but I fall for the lost trick all the time. Basically only ghetto men do this, not sure why nerds don't, but it's been my own personal experience.

I replied, "yes?" And he proceeds to inquire about where the bars are (on a Sunday!!!) I didn't really know what to say, so I told him the truth, "there are some right up there on Hennepin" and pointed in that direction. Then I realized I'd been tricked, his sneaky smile said it all. "Miss, so, what's your name?"

I shot that down real quick. "I'm sorry, I'm not interested."

Story two: Meanwhile, across town at a suburban Target Becky was sifting through the card aisle when a young man noticed her. He wouldn't stop starting, so she did was any self-respecting lady would do: she walked away, to the candle aisle.

Oh, he found her though (stalker tendency) and proceeded to ask her in painful detail about the candle she was buying, scents she liked and all about plug ins. It became completely apparent that he didn't really care about candles, he just wanted to make conversation. You know Becky is nice so she endured this.

Then, oh, it got worse. He asked her (and this is so bad I'm just laughing writing this) "what kind of baths do you like to take?" This blew my mind. Who on earth would ask something like that?

You have to love a persistent male, but it should be the handsome, normal ones. Which it never is. I told Becky my theory is that awkward men like to approach women way out of their league and attack them with conversation, it might be their only chance to speak to one. God bless them.

some good things end

I think that being honest in blogging (within reason) is important. I try not to drag anyone down with the realities of my daily life, and at the same time I have a responsibility as a writer to be real.

Remember when I dated J? I wrote about our break up and later deleted the entry because it was an ugly ending complete with getting chased down a flight of stairs and a half assed marriage proposal the next day accompanied by a dozen roses. You know what though, what really did him in is when he looked at me and said, "you're not a photographer." That was so hurtful.

After, I ceased discussing my dating life in real detail because it's either going to end one of two ways: breaking up or getting married. That was a chance I didn't like taking. Most bloggers that I read are married + children, and I know many of my readers are, too.

Later, I made the decision to write about K and I because it was so fun and we truly believed it was leading to engagement.

I knew it would be interesting navigating the waters of a divorced dad. I also knew that none of my girlfriends had that experience, so if I needed advice I'd have to go to other people.

Women who had been there were very real with me. Real about the trials of step-siblings and child support. Real about the fun of it and the stress of it. Real about what it's like to fight for full custody and also limit the number of children you can have because there are already kids. I was appreciative of their wisdom.

I've always been determined and never a quitter, but I just couldn't continue down this path any further. What made the decision easy and hard was that it never stemmed from an interpersonal problem between K and I.

K has always been so incredibly supportive of me. When I would get upset about something he'd talk me down and always say, "I understand if you can't deal with all of this. I'm just so lucky to know you." Throughout this entire journey we've been able to maintain our close friendship which was always there from the start. He is the best kind of man dealing with life's challenges.

You know, I wasn't even going to write this post at all, but I do believe as readers you should get to know to some degree. I didn't want to cease mentioning K and have you all wonder, and then show up with a new boyfriend down the road. I think you deserve to know some happy and some hard. The reality of it is, life moves on, I move with it and I am blessed.

yes. victory.

Today I got some good, happy, not for a blog news, but still good. I wish I could share with all of you, but it's just a nugget of happiness for me and a certain mister. Nope, no one is getting engaged. Don't worry. We're just having an unusually happy Sunday. I'll carry on now (with my Lifetime Movie Network addiction.)

Source: dashboard.bloglines.com via Katie on Pinterest

it takes me back

The very first time I ever tasted gazpacho I was fourteen. We were staying in France at a beautiful rental home in La Garde-Freinet. A family friend from Chicago, Karen Thompson, came to stay for a few weeks and prepared the most delicious, chilled soup: gazpacho.

I fell in love. What gave it so much good (and good for you) flavor? I thought maybe sparkling water was added to make it so zesty. I wasn't sure. It was one of those meals you just remember.

Ten years (ah!) later I tried my hand at a new Ina Garten recipe. I don't care for bell peppers so I omitted those and maybe next time I might throw in a favorite fresh herb, but this take on gazpacho is perfect.

It took me right back to that incredible home and the al fresco dinners. I wish I could go back. The south of France is just always a good idea. I dream about it constantly.

K was over the night I decided to break out the blender and conquer this. I asked him if he liked gazpacho. "I've never had it" he said. I worried he wouldn't like it. I mean most men don't love a large amount of vegetables ground into a cold soup. But... he did. Maybe it helped that we had apple crisp for dessert?

a republican at whole foods

K had never been to Whole Foods. I know, I know. But to his defense he lived for years in a town up north that doesn't have one, so you can't really blame him. I'd blog about his first Byeryl's trip with me, but that's another story... 

We planned a shopping trip and dinner at Whole Foods. I felt thrilled to show K around my favorite grocery store, show him where I get the delicious ingredients to make the meals he so adores and prove to him that shopping there is good for you and not as awful for your pocketbook as you might believe.

He took it all in, from the jars of scented bath salts to the perfect meat counter. I picked up the basics: chips, lime bars and shampoo. We went through every section. Can I just say that shopping at Whole Foods makes you never want to step into a Cub or heaven forbid an Aldi? I was one and done with Aldi (sorry Maggie) when I realized you have to pay a quarter to use their carts. I apologize for being a food snob.

We walked into the cafe area and picked up some dinner.

We sat down and started dining. K looked at me and quietly said, "republicans don't shop here. I'm the only one in here." I had to roll my eyes. Then I loudly said enough for everyone around us to hear, "I'm sure you're not the only republican who shops at whole foods." Then he laughed.

Converting my sexy republican cowboy wanna be into a whole foods lovin' consumer: this is what I mean by break em' down and build em' back up (my partly joking dating philosophy that K thinks is hilarious.) Two days ago we were driving on France Ave and K says, "look Katie, they're putting in a new Whole Foods." That's right my dear, that's right. 

What about you, did you have to introduce your lover to a better way of grocery shopping?

smile

Kate snapped this photo at Memorial Day Weekend's BBQ.

I love it for several reasons:

We're in our summer attire: linen shirt and lilly :) K says, "I love linen!!" as we drove up to the party. I'm cracking up, who says that?

Last: this man's smile. I mean truly, look at his adorable grin. I think he might be happy.

In other news: I hope you have an excellent weekend. I plan to walk to the 45th annual Edina Art Fair and read Little Bee.