There are times when I really, really hate this school and most of all hate being here.
This past week has been one of those times. In fact, I think this week went down in freshman year history as my most horrible week... EVER!
I feel like that little boy in the book that I think is called "the horrible, no good week" or something to that nature.
Okay so here's what happened (and this is the condensed version, because it just hurts my head to write and think about it all):
Thursday morning:
Every week for my black history class we read a book. Usually we discuss it during class. Everyone goes around and says something that they think was interesting etc... Well there are several people (I'd say about 3-4 on average) who when it's their turn to speak say, "well ummmm I didn't read the book." oooookkkkkkaaaayyyy. Now mind you this isn't HS, but at St. Mary's if you would of said that the teacher would of replied, "alright *Sally* please leave my class." Instead my way easy-going professor just sits there and smiles, as if to say- "that's okay that you didn't do your work." So what does this all have to do with me? Well earlier that week the prof. suddenly changed the assignment from "just go around" to assigning us specific chapter summaries. Alright, fine. However, I totally saw that as a ploy to get people who don't read to read. And since this is SARAH LAWRENCE after all I casually brought it up before class. I guess that was bad because my prof. didn't like it, I'm sorry- I guess I felt I needed to take some initiative for myself and the others who actually DID their reading and SAY SOMETHING.
Later Thursday: my boss as the preschool is literally off the wall. No kidding. After the kids leave and we clean up the room she spends time criticizing other parents and families, and then saying nice things about the ones that she "loves". She totally takes her volunteers for granted, and refuses to respect them. I come in twice a week, when I don't even need to and one day I was sick- I called in to say I would be unable to come in and she flipped out. For such a trivial reason she flipped out at me again after class and I got upset. I just wanted to leave the room and "get myself together" in the other one. So I asked for space for a few moments. She followed me. I asked for space again, and she didn't respect that- again. Oy!
Friday night: I get home from babysitting around 11 to find the kitchen a mess. There are jello shots (I am too naive I didn't even know what they were until someone told me! LOL) in the freezer and a lot of it spilled ALL OVER the freezer and refridgerator door- it was so bad that just opening the fridge was hard b/c of the stickiness.... Not to mention Kalli's usual baking crumbs and huge mess. SO! Steph (my roomate) and I decide to leave a note asking them nicely to clean up their "party" mess since it's our weekend to clean... I hear Kalli get home and she sees the note and says something like "uhhh we were gonna do it!" Whatever...
Fast forward several hours. I'm coming home from babysitting Saturday morning and I'm starting to get sick. I check the kitchen, still a mess- not to mention Kalli isn't even awake. SO! I take my work and go over to Arlene's apt. and stay there all day basically.
I come back expecting to find the same mess and see it partially cleaned up, I'm pretty happy- UNTIL Steph tells me that she had to REMIND them to do it AGAIN.
Saturday night: Arlene walks me back over to my apt. because I was just feeling so darn sick and tired. As I'm heading towards my door I trip and fall over about 7 big and small boxes that belong to Kalli and Mahayla. Steph and I had asked them on SEVERAL occassions to move their boxes because we couldn't walk in the narrow hallway. NOTHING HAPPENED. So. Arlene and I just threw their boxes into their room.
An hour later I'm in bed checking my e-mail on my laptop and Kalli knocks. "Who moved the boxes?" I'm sitting there and I say "I tripped and fell over them and Arlene and I put them in there" then she got very angry. I felt bad, but not really- seeing as we had told them SO MANY TIMES to move it. "Well, you could of asked us!" I sit up "Kalli we've asked you guys countless times, and nothing happens."
Later Arlene came over because Kalli was under the impression that we actually WENT into their room, which we didn't- we just threw the boxes in from the hallway (their door was open when they weren't home, so what can they say- it's not like we picked a lock). When confronted by Arlene Kalli just stood there and proceeded to list off silly things that she was frustrated with. When she brought up Matt Alrene and I almost craked up, it was such a transparent thing- keep in mind Kalli really, really, really wants a boyfriend and tends to get jealous of girls very easily.
So after being totally disrespected by her I went and knocked on their door and told them that my brita water filter, kettle, and cleaning supplies were no longer for their use.
I know that's mean, but I'm tired of leaving them notes, asking them, and having them mad at Steph and I- plus it's my stuff to begin with, and when they use it they disrespect it.
All in all the common thread between all of this incidents is BOUNDARIES. There are very flued boundaries at this school, which can be very confusing to someone who really works well when there are expectations and rules lined out for her.
I love structure, and being in a place where there is more structure is gonna keep me sane-
Until then on with the cold medicine, may it sooth my nerves!
